A reverse mortgage on your mortality.
Equity Extraction Experts
Main headquarters for Equity Extraction Experts, Santa Fe, NM.
You know and trust Equity Extraction Experts as your favourite resource for hard to secure financing through reverse mortgages.
For generations we have been serving communities like yours in virtually every small town around the country. Our members stand next to you in church, in line at the grocery store, and as teachers in your children’s schools.
While we primarily specialize in financial opportunities for the elderly, we’ve been challenging ourselves recently. Our goal: To bring the same great principles of the reverse mortgage to a whole new crop of potential customers.
Today, we’re proud to announce our next service to the market: Introducing the “Pay-As-You-Go” pilot program from Equity Extraction Experts. It’s the first program that allows you access to quick cash in times of need. Cash that you’ll never have to repay. Ever.
Here’s how it works:
As a member of the lower sectors, your good health is an untapped resource. Good job!
In the new “Pay-As-You-Go” program, you can donate viable vital organs to needy recipients in the privileged sectors and get quick access to cash.
Use your payout to repay student loans, heating bills, back taxes… anything at all!
Legal Disclaimer
*Note- Organs must be fully extracted to determine viability, and cannot be returned.
Non-viable extracted organs will be donated to our affiliated pet sustenance program.
**Sadly, we can no longer accept self-extracted organs.
Special Offer!
Are you a healthy woman between the ages of 12 and 28? Good news! Your eggs can be harvested and turned into cash!
As human reproduction is currently illegal for inhabitants in the lower sectors, you’ll be putting this precious resource to use the way nature intended.
“I had two of them anyways.”
There's been some kinda problem with my payment. I got a letter last week about my kidney donation being "non-viable," but I don't know what that means. I'm still waiting for my cash. I hope it comes soon.
“What choice do we have?”
We're stuck here. Everyone I know is selling off pieces of their bodies just to be able to afford to eat. Meanwhile the Entitled Sectors get richer and richer. It's just not right.
“Burnout”
My staff and I are doing 16 hour days, 6 days a week performing extractions. We're exhausted, but there's a line of donors out the door. The most popular trend now is to double up on the surgeries for a bigger payout. Some people will give an eyeball and a kidney in the same day. I make decent money, so I try not to think about it.
“Sorry, not sorry”
I hear that people are complaining from the lower sectors, and I'm just so over it. It's like, "C'mon, it's called capitalism. You knew the rules, you played the game, you just don't like your cut," (pun intended)! I needed a kidney and I did what I had to do to get it. Go ahead, tell me that I'm a bad person for using my privilege.