Glamour on the high seas! The newly christened coal-powered steamship
“The Chum Bucket” has been launched in Singapore.
Introducing the most effective human depopulation program within the federal government. Our expanding fleet of coal-powered ships helps clear the streets while supporting ocean life, leading the human depopulation industry worldwide.
Our mission is to repopulate the world’s oceans with fish and other wildlife by re-introducing a clean ocean environment with a sustainable and eco-friendly food supply.
It’s time to “Feed the Beast!”
To maximize the effectiveness of your depopulation program, you’ll require a steady stream of conscripts. A sample invitation is below:
Your adventure begins now!
“Congratulations! You have been chosen to volunteer on The Chum Bucket, in order to make the ultimate sacrifice.
“Don’t bother packing! You’ll be immediately whisked away and gently delivered to the modern and glamorous coal-powered steamship The Chum Bucket. Here you will be doing your part to add vital nutrients to our devastated oceans.
“Our mission is to sustain the endangered ocean wildlife with a much-needed protein and fat-rich diet.
“Volunteers like yourselves are consistently ranked among the most respected of our expendable citizens from the lower sectors.”
Go forth with pride!
“Not Fair!”
"We're Julie's new caretakers appointed by the state. How could the Chum Bucket people claim that both of Julie's parents won the lottery in the same month? We were promised that things like this could never happen. What do we tell Julie? Zero stars if I could."
“How Could This Happen?”
"There was a knock at the door one day and the Chum Bucket folks took my wife away for no reason. Said she'd won the lottery. Next thing I know I hear she's on some big ship heading off somewheres. Two weeks later I got a check from KinCredits for $14.00. Something about her organs. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"
“Gotta Keep Feeding The Beast!”
"We have a fleet of the new Chum Buckets vessels that we run in the Indian Ocean. No problem securing volunteers in that part of the world!"
“It’s a win-win!”
"Our hedge fund invested in two of the Chum Buckets for our sector. As a former Yoga teacher, I appreciated the calm and serenity that it has brought to the area. The streets have less riff-raff in them, and we're doing our part for the oceans."
“How Could This Happen?”
"There was a knock at the door one day and the Chum Bucket folks took my wife away for no reason. Said she'd won the lottery. Next thing I know I hear she's on some big ship heading off somewheres. Two weeks later I got a check from KinCredits for $14.00. Something about her organs. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"
“Not Fair!”
"We're Julie's new caretakers appointed by the state. How could the Chum Bucket people claim that both of Julie's parents won the lottery in the same month? We were promised that things like this could never happen. What do we tell Julie? Zero stars if I could."