Aikido Holding Company
“Media vita in morte sumus”
The “Eterna” Suicide Pod, seen here with soul in transit.
Entitlement Confirmed!
The fully modern Eterna pod from the Aikido Holding Company is the first pod that allows you not only painless termination but also ensures that your journey, while lasting only milliseconds, is as pampered as your old lifestyle.
Make your lasting impression a grand exit the living will talk about long after you’re gone.
Your personal wealth must have an Approved Designated Corporate Recipient (ADCR) to qualify for acceptance to use the Eterna pod termination system.
“Follow me on IG”
Hopelessness is trending right now, and I'd rather be an influencer that departs with dignity and style. People are fighting over crumbs and I'm so over it.
“So psyched!”
I thought that I had been to every amusement park in Japan, but then I saw the Eterna online. I've never heard of an amusement park with only one ride, but apparently this is supposed to be the best! I booked for this weekend, but I was surprised that there were so many forms and waivers to sign. It's also a bit pricey, but you only live once!
“You win”
I couldn't believe it when my family first told me that I needed to sign up for an appointment with Eterna. There's nothing wrong with me. Sometimes I get a little sad or angry, but it usually passes quickly. I resisted for a long time, but I am beginning to understand now. They seem to make a lot of valid points. Honestly I think that they are just wearing me down. I finally made an appointment for Sunday evening, so I guess that's it.
“Undecided”
My wife went with Eterna last week when she found out that I was having an affair with her best friend. I'm going to have one last fling and then I'm thinking of calling it off and joining my wife. I'm still undecided, we'll see how it goes.