The Bestwell Group
The friendly and functional “Fait Accompli” Suicide Kiosk.
Huangpu River, Shanghai, 31.317296, 121.560147.
Comfort and Convenience.
The Fait Accompli is an unmanned and fully automated kiosk for the budget-conscious consumer.
This is the first of many automated personnel elimination kiosks to be installed throughout Asia, with more than 300 contracted to be built in the coming year.
The Fait Accompli can accommodate up to 1,200 souls per day.
Open 24/7/365. No reservations required.
Please note that there are no counselors on premises to assist in your final preparations.
KinCredits are not offered from this facility.
Retrieval of remains is not available at this facility, any attempts to do so may be punishable by law.
Caveat Emptor
All visitors should be aware that as per government ordinance G58B-51, once entrance has been granted, there are no provisions for exiting the location. A state-mandated automated blood test is required to confirm sobriety upon entrance to all Bestwell Group facilities.
“An Impulse Purchase That I Kind Of Regret”
"So, like... I bought a 'Fait Accompli' unit and me and my friends, like, installed it in the park down the street, like, as a total goof, you know? And all of a sudden people started using it, like, for real. Now, like, somebody's gotta clean it, but, like, there's no way I'M gonna do it, you know?"
“Never again!”
I was excited to receive my order, but after the first two months the waste chute keeps getting clogged. It's a pain to clean.
“Highly recommend!”
We have had these units installed throughout our Province in all of the public parks. They seem to work very efficiently, and the grinding noises aren't as bad as some of the other reviewers say. I have one down the street from my apartment, and I usually sleep through the noise. The units seem to be most active in the evenings, especially around the holidays for some reason.
“I thought that this thing was for pets”
My boyfriend brought our poodle, "Puddles" to the Smart Choice in Waltham. Puddles has been sick for a while and was really losing it. We thought that it was a cool place to bring pets instead of the vet, when it's time to put them down. We thought that this would be more humane. Once my boyfriend entered, they have this, like, no exit policy, you know? Well now I've lost both Puddles AND my boyfriend! I swear they should really put up a sign or something.